funny memes about getting older

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Today i faced what most i fearedmy very first grey hair appearedit stood out boldly in my hairi couldn’t believe that it was therei hated it, if truth be told it shouted to me, “gee you’re old! ”i was not about to scream and shoutinstead i pulled the sucker out.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,you’re not playing fair at alli’m really now upset with youfor giving your distorted viewyou show my hair is turning gray,it’s just the way the shadows playi know that you’re not hanging straightto make me look so over weightthe way you show a double chinis just the way the light comes ini thinki’m fine, but you’re so wiseto put such accent on my thighs. i wish you’d try to be my friendand tell me i’m a little thinjust tell me i look good in jeansand frilly shirts and pretty things. please don’t let the wrinkles showi’d like to have a pretty glowi see you won’t respond at allso i’ll just tear you off the wall.

Omg, i’m rich! silver in the hairgold in the teethcrystals in the kidneyssugar in the bloodlead in the a**iron in the arteriesand an inexhaustible supply of natural gas. i never thought i’d accumulate such wealth.

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When i am an old woman i shall wear purplewith a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit meand i shall spend my pension on brandy and summer glovesand satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. i shall sit down on the pavement when i’m tiredand gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bellsand run my stick along the public railingsand make up for the sobriety of my youth. i shall go out in my slippers in the rainand pick flowers in other people’s gardensand learn to spit. you can wear terrible shirts and grow more fatand eat three pounds of sausages at a goor only bread and pickle for a weekand hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxesbut now we must have clothes that keep us dryand pay our rent and not swear in the streetand set a good example for the children. we must have friends to dinner and read the papers. but maybe i ought to practice a little now? so people who know me are not too shocked and surprisedwhen suddenly i am old, and start to wear purple. -jenny joseph

Now i lay me down to sleepi pray the lord my shape to keep. please no wrinkles…please no bagsplease lift my butt before it sags. please no age spots…please no grayas for my belly…please take it away. keep me healthy…keep me young…and thank you lord…for all you’ve done!

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