funny quotes about life goodreads
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Famous funny guy Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted," and we couldn't agree more. Whether you're having a bad day or know someone who could use a little cheering up, laughter really is the best medicine — plus, there are so many ways to tickle your funny bone. Telling corny jokes or watching feel-good comedies is a sure-fire way to add levity to your day, but if you need a quick fix, then we've got tons offunny quotesthat are guaranteed to ease the tension and create a little pocket of joy amid life's stresses.
We’ve got hilarious quotes about love, marriage, aging, parenting, friendship, and many more topics that are oh-so relatable and undeniably clever. Grab your favorites for greeting cards, social media captions, or even just to print and hang above your desk to serve as a little reminder that life's not that serious — and we’re all much better off laughing so we don't cry! With quotes from famous comedians like Betty White, Joan Rivers, Lucille Ball, and Phyllis Diller, here are the best laugh-out-loud quotes to enjoy anytime you need a laugh. Looking for more inspiration? Be sure to check out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life as well.
26. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." —Oprah Winfrey
30. "When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'"―Groucho Marx
34. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, then it's you." —Rita Mae Brown
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Quotes tagged as "humorous"
Showing 1-30 of 2,544
“I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though.”
―
Veronica Roth,
Divergent
“You might want to lie down," Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.”
―
Cassandra Clare,
City of Ashes
“Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance.”
―
Oscar Wilde
“Thanks,” I muttered and added under my breath, “Douchebag.”He laughed, deep and throaty. “Now that’s not very ladylike, Kittycat.”
Okay. That was it. “You know, you’re right. How wrong of me to call you a douchebag. Because a douchebag is too nice of a word for you,” I said, smiling sweetly. “You’re a dickhead.”
HomeMy BooksBrowse ▾RecommendationsChoice AwardsGenresGiveawaysNew ReleasesListsExploreNews & InterviewsArtBiographyBusinessChildren'sChristianClassicsComicsCookbooksEbooksFantasyFictionGraphic NovelsHistorical FictionHistoryHorrorMemoirMusicMysteryNonfictionPoetryPsychologyRomanceScienceScience FictionSelf HelpSportsThrillerTravelYoung AdultMore Genres
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Life Quotes
Quotes tagged as "life"
Showing 1-30 of 70,150
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
―
Marilyn Monroe
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,Love like you'll never be hurt,Sing like there's nobody listening,And live like it's heaven on earth.”
―
William W. Purkey
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
―
Mae West
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
―
Robert Frost
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
―
Oscar Wilde
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
―
Narcotics Anonymous
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
―
Andre Gide,
Autumn Leaves
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
―
Albert Einstein
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
―
Mark Twain
“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
―
Allen Saunders
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
―
Marilyn Monroe
“Everything you can imagine is real.”
―
Pablo Picasso
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
―
Dr. Seuss
“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
―
George Bernard Shaw
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
―
Dr. Seuss,
Happy Birthday to You!
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
―
Woody Allen
“Sometimes people are beautiful.Not in looks.Not in what they say.Just in what they are.”
―
Markus Zusak,
I Am the Messenger
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
―
Albert Einstein
“Who are you to judge the life I live?I know I'm not perfect-and I don't live to be-but before you start pointing fingers...make sure you hands are clean!”
―
Bob Marley
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
―
John Green,
Looking for Alaska
“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
―
Jess C. Scott,
The Intern
“Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears."After all this time?""Always," said Snape.”
―
J.K. Rowling,
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
―
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.”
―
Sylvia Plath,
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
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